Pleasure-pain Balance Maturity Model (PBMM)!

February 28, 2003 

From: "Rajesh Sulabha"

To: "Macemates" macemates@yahoogroups.com

Cc:  macebangalore@yahoogroups.com, computers97@yahoogroups.com

Dear MACEans,

The following text is about best practices and derived guidelines to find “balance of pleasure and pain in choosing and reaching any objective/goal in life and resulting Happiness/Success”.

INTRODUCTION
------------
PBMM is an attempt to define a protocol for finding balance of Pleasure and Pain of moving ahead in life.

Along the way let us reach a formal procedure for identifying common values to follow in life independent of religions and region of living.

In PBMM, the 'Human Beings' are the 'Social-Network-Nodes' similar to Mobile-Phones in GSM and Personal-Computers connected to the TCP/IP based Internet; but the challenge here is that we need to address the abstract modes of operating with feelings, emotions and spiritual drives. 

GENERAL DESCRIPTION:
-------------------
PBMM is a proposal of a continuous improvement quality process in our own life in all areas of practical-real-life similar to CMM (Capability Maturity Model)-level5 (for continuous improvement in all areas of an organization) and 6-Sigma (best practices for the goal of nearing perfection in quality of deliverable of an organization).

GOALS and OBJECTIVES:
--------------------
Achieve balance of pleasure and pain of moving ahead in life and the resulted consistent relaxed/cool mind and comfort feeling of happiness of humans without following or using the extreme spiritual ways of priests.

BEST PRACTICES:
--------------
+ consciously practise to "Focus on Solutions" rather than "Focus on Problems"

+ nurture and boost the VW-Quotients of Vision, Visibility, Willpower and Wisdom and the C-Quotients (Confidence, Courage, Curiosity, Capacity-to-rationalize, Consistency, and Cooperation).

+ cultivate a habit of finding a justifiable answer to the query "If I was at his or her situation, what would have I done, or said or responded even by thoughts?"

+ practice self-talk to get a YES or NO answer for any of our thoughts, words or actions. If cannot find the answer with the present score of wisdom, read and listen, search, research and derive the optimum answer to move the system of living ahead in positive direction.

+ Have constructive sharing of views just like proposing alternative choices to select for approaching or solving a particular issue of concern rather than criticizing or arguing. This is applicable at all contexts of life including career, family, society, love, sex, personal (or self-talk), etc.

+ before any judgment on other's private life and individual decisions just ask self "WHO AM I TO JUDGE OTHERS ABOUT THEIR PRIVATE LIFE?". And leave all other types of communal, social, religious, patriotic, international or universal judgments to the judiciary of the  country of living. If need to amend the laws of the country for betterment, unite the people to make it happen.

+ may interpret the word 'God' as the literature definition for "reason to explore more of this world to reach more awareness and Knowledge to feel the surrounding/nature rather than criticizing the rest using the protocol guidelines of religious books"

+ practise enjoyable ways of self-learning with the goals of continuous improvement in all areas of life and a commitment for nearing current best quality of whatever we involve or whatever we deliver irrespective of high-profile or low-profile statuses or roles of commitments made. i mean, cultivate an attitude for optimizing and improving the quality of anything we involve (it could be personal, family, social, patriotic, organizational, international, or universal).

+ respect and care the disadvantaged and underprivileged ones and maintain youthful spirit and attitude even at late old ages (i mean, consider all the physical disabilities of old age as just natural and find out customized solutions to keep the balance of peace of mind with the right positive approach and attitude till the end of life rather than going to the extreme spiritual ways followed by the majority in the world just blindly ignoring the realities of life)..and treat every moment as an opportunity to treasure the best of love and caring.

+ share pleasures, personal views, information, and thoughts to relate to that of others, who mutually care each other, to get much broader and fine tuned improvement and innovation in righteous ways of anything in life. i mean, be open to consider anything to reaching the GOAL and OBJECTIVES listed above.

+ show willingness and enthusiasm for proactive self-less contributions with united or integrated minds and efforts of any community of interest we involve FORGETTING all types of segregating factors of ignorance and errors of past.

+ consistently, consciously and deliberately practise to REDUCE the percentage of influence of anger, pride, sloth, covetousness, envy, gluttony, lust, lie!, etc. The mention is to develop an approach of forgiving others if find errors around
due to the above list of negative influences. Mutually agreed lust shall be acceptable as long as it does not trouble the balance of the surrounding living or non-living elements!

+ consciously practise to think before we speak with a rhythm of real-time synchronization of speech following thoughts. Also be careful about 'WHAT WE THINK', because, with limited awareness and observation of history, in almost all practical scenarios, SPEECH and ACTIONS follow THOUGHTS somewhere sometime in the down line in future.

+ practise to THINK, FEEL, SAY, and DO what we keep as true to heart and love to explore and innovate what we do without leading to self-destructive or surrounding-destructive ends.

+ follow the ethics of righteousness, on whatever we involve, which should be our attempt to find out the highest good (shall NOT  necessarily related to any Gods or religions; if someone is happy with the religious ways, respect his/her unique ways of achieving peace of mind and happiness). i mean, which way to choose reach this goal is upto the unique life-style of each human; but priority should be given for reaching the goal rather than which way he/she choose.

+ try with consistent best efforts to REDUCE the percentage of NEGATIVE PULLING FORCES of cowardice and insensibility.

+ try to INCREASE the percentage of BLISSFUL-MEANS of right ambition, good temper, modesty, liberality, sincerity and friendly civility.

 
+ try with consistent and conscious best efforts to REDUCE the percentage of EXCESS-VICES or EXCESS-BAD-HABITS of rashness, boastfulness, intemperance, irascibility, bashfulness, rudeness and rebelliousness. (the IDEAL! goal can be to reach to keep the values of all these parameters to 0 in the long run of life of each of us).

+ keep continue discovering and improving the unique and inherent potentials of self, chart out and write down the dreams or vision and well-wishes of future, BELIEVE in it, and PRIORITIZE the action items to reach execute that dreams. And wherever we need to say a 'NO', just SAY it in a non-hurting straight forward way.

+ never bias thoughts for any blind conclusions. For anything we address, always ask self that "WHY NOT THE OTHER WAY or AN ALTERNATE PATH/SOLUTION? and try to come up with rational better alternatives of solutions with proof" for reaching out the unique innovative skills of each human.

I mean, rather than blindly following any majority accepted facts, try to approach the lateral and dialectic extends without disturbing the balance of the surrounding. It should be with positive professional spirits rather than silly personal interests just to criticize or to prove someone else wrong.

+ practise to trigger self motivation for involving and indulging with anything of interest which in turn give happiness permitted by the law of of the country of residence.

+ once we have the righteous conviction of purpose of what we have decided to do or started doing with the goals of goodness of all around and self, NEVER worry about what others think or misunderstand or misinterpret. (Because there was/is always been a minority or majority of pessimists in any community who can only do negative criticism to demotivate and discourage the good-motives and enthusiasm of rest and self too).

+ Believe that one cannot directly control what others think or interpret about him/her because each human is unique and have the freedom of thoughts depending on the mood changes and knowledge- or ignorance-! -level.

+ before JUDGING or CRITICIZING others, just do self-talk that "Are we knowledgeable enough to judge or criticize others?". But if the other party (person) have the patience and willingness to listen to some friendly positive suggestions of goodness, please share views and solutions on the issue rather than starting some rumors on that person which can only worsen the pessimistic and rebellious condition of that person. and above all, we are wasting our most precious resource, time, for a personal misunderstanding of one of the pessimists.

+ ignore the silly worries of worst case natural anxieties of 'curiosity of life after death', or 'the worry of death' and similar ones. and show the courage to face the reality of whatever comes on the way rather than escaping or running away from the reality.

+ once we make a commitment to anyone or anything, follow the righteous protocols and ethics suitable for that context or environment. And continuously boost that desire to reach the best deliverable from us and motivate SELF to do the current best effort with the highest spirits of sincerity of purpose.

GUIDELINES:
-----------
+ have conviction that HISTORY is for learning from past (i mean, high priority should be given for learning from mistakes of self or others rather than just repenting or confessing to someone which is what almost all theology holy books suggest..i find its not the best practice for our PBMM!) and FUTURE is only for prosperous and happy HOPES rather than the usual anxieties and negative thought patterns!

+ accept and believe the proven truthful facts, from the experiences of hundreds of human-generations of history, that "To err is human and to forgive is divine" and "each of us can live individually; but can survive only collectively".

+ have readiness to face the reality in anything and have an attitude to take the consequences of our thoughts, words and actions.

+ keep an ethic of dignity of labor and respect for others and their individuality and individual preferences.

+ have love for humanity. (i believe this should be the core of anything related to human activities).

+ believe and trust with conviction that each human can find solution for almost any issue, concern or problem in her/her life from within by self-talk powered by current best depth and breadth of knowledge and wisdom.

+ never make forced rules on anyone for their private fun, entertainment, pleasures and biological needs of humans as long as they follow the rules of the country.

+ try to avoid pessimism and prejudice as much as possible in any issue in life. I mean, approach anything in life with a fresh mind and deliver the current best output using the available resources with a positive frame of mind without worrying about the returns or results.

i.e; concentrate the efforts to give the best contribution and never let anxiety influence our ways to reach the best output). But we need to consciously self-diagnose with an optimum periodicity during our non-sleeping hours to keep us NOT going to the natural habits of reaching quick prejuidistic and pessimistic conclusions.

+ follow the rules of the country (judiciary) of living rather than giving more priority for the priests and preachers of religions.

+ have a true heart and smiling mind and face for appreciating,  encouraging and motivating any thoughts, words or actions of anyone with the wisdom of righteousness and direction and goals of goodness of anything we address.

+ have self conviction that each of the human being is unique and free to explore and innovate the uniqueness of each by following the rules of the country of residence.

+ do NOT cultivate a habit of negative criticism or argument which can only demotivate and discourage other humans.

+ have conviction that each day is a fresh one for happiness, celebration and for delivering goodness and good-fortunes to self and to the rest. And cheer up at every moment of celebrations and joys. Bad moods, illness, accidents or loses and all are just exceptions in life and those can be cured with the highest of optimism and with an attitude of sharing love, care and hope of a prosperous future.

+ have a conviction that actions speak louder than words as the way body language and facial expressions convey more than what we may say.

+ realize and believe that humans have evolved as a social-being having quest for spiritual qualities and got influenced by the effects of feelings and emotions. I mean, be sensitive to the feelings of others!

+ have awareness that the Spiritual Intelligence Quotient (SQ) and the Emotional Intelligent Quotient (EQ) has high priority than IQ when it comes to be successful with a happy life satisfying spiritual, social and family demands.

+ have conviction that thinking with the supervision of self-talk is the soul of living and growing in the righteous path of betterment of any area of life.

As and when I relate many of the above listed points, I'm nearing to a more self-convincing conviction that, 

"LOVE for (and of) anything, anyone and everything is the ENERGY, ENTHUSIAM, ENCOURAGEMENT, MOTIVATION and INSPIRATION of LIFE, SOUL, and SPIRIT of ANYTHING and ANYONE related to humans".

With this (input and output effects of 'LOVE'), the source of energy, the unique and optimum solution of (and for) any issues will just follow. But because of the forces of the surrounding or our lack of patience, most time we end up not noticing that unlimited source of energy residing inherent in us.

Psychological and Philosophical Conclusion:
------------------------------------------
The skill to supervise and guide the emotions and thoughts from an external or top plane within self is one of the alternative solutions for achieving a balance of pleasure and pain in day today life.

I mean, it shall be a state of mind that is stable on any complex situation of emotions and thoughts and is consistently cool, able to maintain the peace of mind and balance the pleasure and pain involved in reaching goals. The concerns of gains and losses never interrupt that stable mind.

 
Probably this may be the reason why in ancient India, over four to five thousands of years of experimenting, exploration activities, trades and commerce, the civilization started moving towards spiritual principles (in corporate world we call Value System or corporate-ethics!) as the guidelines for living which was secular and had more scientific and open approach to explore more and more knowledge and everything around. In that ancient system, gathering knowledge or meditation/life-long research on any topic of interest and sharing to family and society was considered as approaching the "absolute truth" (not necessarily God)!

General Conclusion:
------------------
The more a human love other humans and surrounding, the more the wisdom generated or the drive/motivation for achieving more knowledge. In other way, the more the knowledge and wisdom of a human, the drive to shower more love exponentially increases. This common pattern is visible in all periods of history.

That enlightened society shall be similar to a grid network of human-knowledge-servers keep on helping each other using their unique expertise in various areas of social life.

thanks and best wishes,
Rajesh Sulabha.